life in the busy lane

So.... Its summer YAY!!! Its finally here and I'm so happy, cause I get fridays off which I will need!!!!! more time to spend with munchies my new kitten. he's seven weeks old and a little fisty cutie. lol

I start my CDA class tomorrow. I'll be going through summer and fall semesters every monday night. ... Fun stuff :( lol So yeah not looking forward to it, but work is paying for it and I will have to have it by next year anyway. so Might as well get it over with. Summer weekends look already to be busy, I think we have the next few weekends planned with pro life music festival coming up in two weeks, and rapsaudy in green next weekend, then plannign trips to chicago and the water parks, and grrr munchin just pulled up a key on my lap top keypad k I think I fixed it grr though to bad I cant fix the f key that he must have pulled out last week.

So I Finally got my tattoo. It's an ankh and an eye of horus. drawn by me. and doesnt it look awesome!!!! my first tattoo!!!!

It hurt like heck too, felt like my arm was on fire. but I got through it without any tears. that really supprised me. guess I'm tougher than I thought.

so... the ank represents the egyptian symbol of life. and the eye of horus is an egyptian symbol for renewal and protection.

I'm very happy with it and i have no regrets about getting it Its all my choice and I'm proud of it and myself.

the writers pathBy: Bonita Templeton

the writer sits and stares at a notebook full of dreams. Pages of her life, of her past, of the path that she has tread in this world. She see's just how far away from some of her dreams she has come. She knows not how she got to where she is today. so she sits and reads, the pages. the pages she wrote in and signed her name to poems and songs leading back to highschool. Some of them she cant bare to read, cause sadly she has come so far from when those things ruled her life. and she see's how some things never change. The writer, sits in tears, she cries how did this happen? wasnt I heading in the right way, then why have I strayed off the path so far? What happened to poems of praise and prayers. been so long since I have written about what used to be my muse. three years or longer since the last poem like that was written. And now her muse has changed. now the writer turns to the page that she is writing today. She writes, of dreams, of love, of anceint ways, she writes of life, of all the good and wonderful things, but she fails now to credit where credit is due, she fails to write on her struggles because she fears them being exposed. She fears the world will see the image of a shattered person, within the writers words, and in reality, she fears thats what she is. many good things have come in this path many things she could never give back, but someday she must write about the path that has truely put her here. and then the writer wont write in shame, but once again write words of praise to the one who has seen her pain. and will bing her to his loving arms again

the Writers struggle with wordless emotions

the writers struggle with wordless emotions.
By: Bonita Templeton
A poem taunts the writers hands, Struggling with a play of words. yet words do not begin to make justice of the things she wants to say. understanding of why she finds herself in this place. is all she asks. some sense in this every day, pace.
So many emotions are pulling her heart. happiness, joy, loss, pain, contentment confusion, sorrow, and shame, yet peace is not here today,.. She grieves a loss that though many days have since passed the pain is fresh in her heart, as if it were but the day before. and no one understands the depth of her sorrow. She tries but finds no comfort for her pain, her tears burn and sting as they run down her face.

She grabs the pen but an image in her mind cant paint the hurt in her heart. no words could measure the sorrow, no paintbrush could paint the despair. But she knows she must move on, with a steady love still holding in her heart.

She moves to another page, Happiness at moments overshadows the pain. happiness covers over the sorrow some days. she thanks the lord for it's source. she knows not what she would do without her love to hold her, to comfort her and console her. He doesn't laugh at her pain like others would.
She thanks her Lord For her love. the one she knows he sent to her. The one she prays would always be there for her. Her love, her love is true, it's strong and steady, is patiently waiting, is all she has to give, Her heart belongs to her love, and he keeps her going. He stands beside her, and makes her sorrow run away. He is the happiness that intersperses with the pain, and reminds her to keep moving, to go on another day.

The writer pauses she has left so much out, But tonight she will hide those thoughts deep inside her as sleep comes to overtake her, And peace that lacks when memories run fast and strong. has come into her heart and mind, she prays this night, for forgiveness and mercy. And this is what she finds.

By: Bonita Templeton

redoing my room

my room looks completely differnt. in the last few weeks I've cleaned, rearanged and taken out old furnature from my room and added new furnature a new futon and desk. I'm really happy with the way it is turning out. I'm still needing to get a few more things to help keep it organized in here. but the hardest parts are done. Now keeping it cleanwill be a challenge.

over the next few months Me and nick will also be tackleing the kitchen and bathroom. hopefully making it much nicer and more organized.

So nick told me this morning that he had a dream last night that he was at my house holding preshy and that preshy was purring, and nick said it was a very vivid dream that he could see preshy clearly. It might not mean much in the long run, but It makes me happy. That nick saw preshy in his dreams and preshy was really happy and helathy.

It makes me feel like preshy is finally at peace. I miss him alot. Its hard to believe its been over four months since i put him down. He was a good cat. And he may not be able to be in my arms any more but in my heart he's there. and thats where he will always be. My preshy, my baby

christian chat rooms and facebook

I now have a myspace www.myspace.com/coffeerockerchristian
, hisholyspace http://www.hisholyspace.com/coffeebeaner
, and face book just look up my name,
profiles so if you want to look me up on on all three of those.

Now down to business. I was a moderator in usachurchchat.com but prayerful who is in charge of the site, has made the decision to close the site. so here with in the next few weeks the site will shut down due to lack of people and participation of the mods and chaters. Its sad.
But I will now be looking for a new chat room. I've gone back to my old one that I started out in. And I remember no one in there. cause every one switched their names on there. I've also tried another one where I'm not to happy but Prayerful is going to so I kinda want to stick where she is(cause its more fun that way). but I am still looking for a new christian chat room so if you have any that you are particularly fond of let me know. Its hard finding a good decent chat rom even in the christian scene.

But then again I wouldnt have nick if I never got on that old chat room. since I met him there. and I wouldnt have near as many close friends , if I hadnt gone there. so Each one had its place, but its time for change... even if change means I have to give up my ban button and mod stat andmake a clean start in a new chat room.

so please help me out and let me know. thanks
Bonita

CABIN FEVER SETS IN LOL SPRING IS COMING SOON

Man I've got the cabin fever today. I dont know if its due to the days this week I've been stuck inside due to a cold. But today I feel better. not completely but enough. Nick told me this morningthat we are suposed to get up to 50 degrees this week. So I'm uber happy. I will take the pre-schoolers outside this week!!!!! or I'll regret it. Fianlly a nice day during the week. so I dont care if I have to make them stay on the black top only. we are going outside. or Miss Bonita Will go crazy. Yes I will. lol so I've got spring fever. Need spring now!!!!! Need fresh air now!!!!! Need to get crazy hyper children outside now!!!!for months they have been shut inside because of cold and rain. No longer !!!!!!! lolThank god today for nice weather yes thank him get on your knees and bless him today cause Nice weather is almost here!!!!!!!YAY GOD!!!! YOU ROCK LORD!!!!!!! YOUR AWESOME!!!!!!!!

fairy tale dreams

tell me please
when did you fall?
fall you say in what way?
in love, I dare to ask, I dare to say.

no I do not sing the song, though sometimes it runns around in my head.
when I think of you and me, my heart goes dancing.

Yes a true romantic am I, A little girl who still dreams of fairy tales and prince charmings.
of grand romances and happy ever afters. this is the hidden side to me which only comes in my dreams

but what girl hasnt dreamed of these, of falling in love of finding her prince.
Yes I have found my prince. And He is every thing I've ever dreamed.

when did you fall? you say.
Fall? Ask I . in love? I say.

one summer night out under the stars. at the lake, in your arms. and every day all over again.
and as we speak I know I'm living my fairy tale dream.

history

hold a piece of history and travel back in time.
step into another world it will blow your mind
dig up ancient cities,
uncover ancient ways.
look through the eyes of ansestors
who thousands of years before lived their lives and died.
look to the past or be doomed to repeat it.
remeber it see it, feel it touch it. grasp it
for its here today for us to see but not forever will it be.
explore it, document it, piece the puzzle of our history together
dig further
look and you will find mysteries beyond your time, look here and you will see a glimpse back, and into the future, life goes on , and one day our sons and daughters hundreds of years from now will wonder even more about the years that have passed and will look to us to see where they have come from.
learn it and cherish it for though its here today tomorrow it may be only a memory.
learn from history and you'll learn about yourself

misserable...

I have been miserable with this cold for the past week. I've done every thing the doctors tell me to taken what they have given me and every day I feel worse than the day before. It makes me wonder if any of the medicines are doing their job. becuase I'm doing mine. They told me to drink plenty of fluids well thats practically al thats gone into my system the past three days. and quite frankly I'm sick of tea and I want my taste buds back so I can enjoy a nice cup of coffee again. went to the doctor wednesday they gave me an antibiotic started feeling worse by friday (much worse ) so I called the doctor and they switched antibiotics. I have missed two days of work and I really cant afford to miss any more. this cold is all screwy. it started off as a cough. then I lost my voice and the whole cold was in my chest. then thursday my nose got in the action and sneezeing fits and a runny nose that wont blow came into play along with a massive headache that kept me under the covers with no noise around me the light off, cause the light and the sounds would make my head throb. and it lasted all day after two atempts to thwart it with ibuprophen. then my throat started hurting and the cough got worse. so much worse I could barely breath. so I tried doing a breathing treatment and that didnt help it made me feel worse. now a week since this cold started I'm ready more than ready for it to end. I'm sick of being home in bed. I'm sick of not being able to do anythng. I'm sick of feeling like crap. I just want this cold to be over with. now. Is that so much to ask. This is the worst cold I've ever had and it can end as soon as possable.

still dreaming about my preshy

It's been a long day. Nick burried his dog lightning today she was put down yesterday. All day in the back of my head all I think about is how much I miss Precious. I know It's been two months. BUt I miss him so much. Last night I dreampt that he was beside my head. right where he should be. And I could have sworn I heard purring but When I lifted my head and opened my eyes, I was at nicks, not at home and the cats werent even in the room.

Some times at night When I close my eyes and I'm hugging goober or midnight I feel like preshy's there. Like he's happy. Like he's looking down on me and them and he's finally at peace. And I dont know it just makes me happy, and it makes me cry. I'm glad he doesnt hut any more. I'm glad he's no longer in pain. But I just wish I still had him. Now all I have are his memory. And that will have to be enough. Maybe God will Feel the way I do, and maybe he will save a spot for him when I get to heaven. Because without preshy my heart has a whole. and no one but he can fill it.

thats all for now.
Bonita

So you say

so you say
by: Bonita Templeton
For nick
I wrote this one today


I opened up this page today with a song inside my head .
I thought about the times we've had, And I couldnt be more blessed.
I look at you and then I see every thing that i could need.
I close my eyes and I can hear you whisper "I love you" in my ear.

and you and me we seam to be all right
as far as I can see , we are meant to be.

So you say that you are happy to
And all of me wants to keep you that way.
When I'm with you I'm so happy to,
And All I want is to keep it that way.

And here I sit jotting down thoughts from my head.
the words and ryme are somewhat a miss.
But here I am I'm not leaveing anything out.
I'm being honest to my heart, cause theres no place here for doubt

So you say that you love me
and that is how it should be
So I say that I love you
and that is true.

Time Chaser

I wrote this a while back too
Time Chaser
By:Bonita Templeton

open the door
I've been here before.
time slips away at the end of each day.
wish you could see all the things i cant speak.
wish i could say every thing I hide away.

rain is dripping down it hits the ground.
words left unsaid pool beneath the window paines
staring out at the world around me
watching it pass slowly
wishing things would happen,
but only in gods timing.

things will come and things will pass,
and lessons all shall learn.
and in the path good things will come,
and happiness in turn.
and we will find ourselves somewhere we least expect.
and time will find us out along the path.

My Love

I wrote this poem a few months ago.

my love
Bonita Templeton
To: Nick


When you came into my life
I gained a friend.
When we started dating
I found a closer friend.
when we first kissed.
I found a piece of hope
when you called me yours,
The glint of hope grew bigger.
when a few months had passed
i thought maybe you could be the one.
when I one year had passed
I knew I'd found my love.
When more times came and went
I found how much love could grow.
Now I think and pray each night
that your love would never go.

So when the whens have come and gone
where will we both be?
I found and fallen in Love with you
and I pray you can see.
my heart belongs to you,
now hold it close I pray.
please dont break my heart
it doesnt bend or stray.

You ane me

You And Me,
By: Bonita Rochelle Templeton
For My Smecutie, Nick

You and me we Have a good thing going here.
You make me smile and I make you laugh.
you annoy me and I get you back!
Your quiet, and I'm quite loud.
Your stubborn and so Am I.
Were a good couple you and I.

The thing we have here is pretty special.
I wouldn't trade it for the world.
We are so different yet so alike,
Don't we have the best of times.

You kiss me and I melt in your arms.
I kiss you and it drives you wild.
I love you and you love me too,
yeah we are blessed to be such a pair.
a pair of crazy off beat people
who found love in this crazy world.

You and me we have something special,
I wouldn't trade it for the world.
You and me are meant to be.
I love you my sweety.

By: Bonita Templeton

Turn back the pages

turn back the pages
Another poem about preshy

Current mood: depressed

sometimes I wish I could turn back the pages of life and see your face again . But the hour glass is weighted theres no place for receding sands. And those photographs couldnt capture you, there just a faded image in my hands. But when I close my eyes I can hear your purr and my heart still feels you here.

I lay my head down on my pillow and I know where you should be. But these tears cant bring you back, only your memory. and only time will heal my pain. and in my heart you are always.

Its hard coming home knowing you wont be there to hold. And I have to face Your buddies cries, they know that you are gone. I miss you so much. and tonight it hits me hard. tomorrow will be the third week since I had to let you go. And the pain feels so fresh in my heart right now. And all I can do is cry. For the Kittty that should still be here in my arms tonight. But I loved you more than you could know, and that Is why I had to let you go. these tears tonight will keep me company. And in the silence I'll think about you. And let the memories cover me. And God will heal my heart eventually.

If tears could bring you back

If tears could bring you back, I cried and ocean for your return.
A poem for preshy my cat That I put to sleep in January or 2008

Current mood: bummed


If Tears could Bring you back...I cried and ocean for your return. But within this life time I shall never see it turn.
You came into my life, and won my heart the moment I saw your tiny head pop through my doll house door. And ever since that day you've heald a place in my heart.
Twelve years have come and gone and in their wake have left me here alone.
One week ago I had to make a choice . To sit and watch My Baby Suffer, or let him go in peace. The choice I swore I would never choose had to be made, Because I love you I had to go this way.
Now every night I cry because your not laying by my side and my heart hurts so much, dealing with the reality that you are gone.
And I would give anything to hear you purr again. To have you look at me with your big green eyes and for you to be back in my arms. I miss you my preshy boy, and that wont ever change. But maybe God will have mercy and I'll see my boy in heaven someday.
But for now I deal with this pain in my heart the only way I know how. To let it run its course, to let the tears flow down. and I'll look at your picture and remember when we were young and I had my little Preshy in my arms. And I would wave a q-tip in your face and you would attack it. And I would Ask you if you loved me and you would rasie your head to meet my lips. and I would say are you a good boy and you would do it again. And When I said I love you you would start purring then and there. And you would purr me to sleep evry night beside my head.
If tears could Brign you back ...I cried and ocean for your return. BUt maybe God will hold you till I can meet you home.
By: Bonita Templeton

Hello I'm coffee, at least thats what some people call me online.
If you want to know about me then ask.
I work in a church child care program and teach a preschool class.
I love coffee If you havent noticed.
I'm a mod in usachurchchat.com the link to which is on my profile.
I have a wonderful boyfriend nick, that I love so much. Heres a picture of us.
thats about it for now I'll post more later